Daily affirmations was something that helped me in my motherhood journey and in my general duties at home and through my work. It helped me stay grounded and focused and positive in many ways.
I hope that these affirmations encourage you and uplift you today and always. Remember that no matter what the circumstances, you are the best mom for your kids. And that you are also not just a mom. There is a women with virtues, hopes and dreams inside of you and bringing those dreams to life mean more than anyone in your circle an imagine.
Whether you are a stay at home mama, a working mama or both in this stage of life because of what is surrounding us, you are more than enough always.
Print this out and post is somewhere you can see it daily. Share it with a friend and send it to them or even PIN it for others to see.
May your year be filled with joy. Within you the best in 2021!
Love, Elsie
]]>We came across Little and Five and I was super hesitant to try something new. I think all moms can attest to the fear of purchasing something new (and online) for their kids; Especially highly sensitive kiddos. We decided to give it a try. We selected the Gold Unicorn and the Gold Stud earrings.
The minute we got our package, we cleaned our earrings with soap and warm water and we cleaned my daughter's ears. Because I wasn't sure what reaction (if any) my daughter would have, we started with the Gold Stud. It was a simple style and goes with just about all outfits.
After a few weeks, we noticed that my daughter was not having any reaction to them. In fact, the back of her ear was very clean anytime I would go check them to clean them. Prior to the Little and Five earrings, I'd have to clean my daughter's ears more often as she would get a bit of a junkie residue on the back. I was very happy to see a clean ear.
About three months after she was wearing the gold stud earrings, my daughter asked us to switch them for the gold unicorn earrings. It has been over a year now that she has kept the same earrings. She refuses to take them off. I don't blame her, they are cute!
My daughter lost a pair of earrings in the past and one thing I love about the Little and Five earrings, is their screw back post feature. It was a bit thicker than the usual, however, my daughter had no issues. I did use a bit of Neosporin after inserting them just because of new material and wanting to make sure she would be covered in case of an issue. Thankfully we had none. If you feel that you need something more besides a screw back, they do sell separate push backs. Like I mentioned, my girl has had the same pair for about a year now and no issues.
Purchasing your child's first (second, or third) set of earrings does not have to be complicated. It shouldn't feel that way at least. I know that when we had our girl, this was one of the first things on my mind to get her dolled up. The PCP's office doesn't always have the cutest options. Little and Five has an amazing variety of earrings to choose from. Their customer service is great and shipping was very fair. I believe we had ours between 3-5 days of purchase.
As a mom what has been your biggest struggle with baby or children's earrings? I'd love to hear about your experiences and if you give Little and Five a try, let us know. They have offered the code motherhood15 for anyone wanting to give it a try.
Head over to our Instagram for a very fun giveaway for a pair!
Much Love,
Elsie
**All information and resources found on confidentmotherhood.com may contain testimonials or reviews that are based on the opinions of the author (unless otherwise noted). These testimonials reflect the real life experiences and opinions of such users. However, the experiences are personal to those particular users, and may not necessarily be representative of all users of our products and/or services. We do not claim, and you should not assume, that all users will have the same experiences. All information is intended to motivate readers to make their own decisions.**
]]>My journey in motherhood began when I was a young age of nineteen years old, my boyfriend and I had no choice but to grow up quickly. We had only been together a year when we bought a house together when I was newly pregnant.
While pregnant, my doctor informed me that I wouldn't be able to get an epidural because of a spinal fusion surgery I had four years prior. This medical situation sparked my journey on natural choices for our family.
I started researching anything "parenting" as much as possible. It started with how to have a natural hospital birth. A few months after, Bailee was born, she was unfortunately neurologically injured with infantile spasms from her 4-month vaccines. We found out later that she also had a mitral heart valve prolapse. Thankfully, it wasn't too much cause for concern long-term. Through non-toxic and healthy living, Bailee's neurological issues have been completely healed.
At 21 years old, I became pregnant with our second daughter, Brooklyn. We did things very, very differently with her. Along with natural birth, we opted for cloth diapering, and we didn't vaccinate (per our oldest daughter's neurologist's recommendations). We started eating mostly organic, and this will be another journey that I know our family can conquer.
Our girls are 3 and 5 years old now, and we are extremely grateful for the life we have been granted.
My first daughter was a surprise. The bravery, the strength, and willpower she has taught me are indescribable.
My second daughter is rather healthy and being assessed for selective mutism in a few months.
This year we plan to move to the city and begin homeschooling.
Motherhood is quite the journey and there's no other journey I would rather dedicate my entire heart to than motherhood.
]]>After suffering a miscarriage of twins In 2017 My husband and I used an ovulation app to get pregnant with our daughter, Hope. She’s the first girl in 5 generations and our rainbow baby.
During my pregnancy, my husband went on a downward spiral into addiction. I was left carrying my pregnancy without support. Hope came 5 weeks early via emergency c-section. There was no explanation as to why my water broke early, other than Hope was ready to meet us.
Labor was hard. I had a balloon placed inside of me and received a drug to make me have contractions. I believe it was called Pitocin. After around 5 hours of labor, whenever I had a contraction, Hope's heart rate would drop into the low 100's. This continued for about an hour until I was rushed for an emergency c-section after her heart rate was undetectable. I was under full anesthesia, and Hope was earth-side within 7 minutes from the time we left the labor and delivery room.
Hope took her first breath off the ventilator. She was 4 pounds and 13 ounces at birth. She lived in the NICU for 21 days after contracting meningitis. Her doctors told us the worst possibilities were death, d eaf, SP, and wheelchair-bound. She’s beat all these odds.
Hope is now 9 months, adjusted to 7.5. She is aided in her right ear, sitting up on her own, and we’re working on crawling now. After having Hope, I had allowed my husband to get clean and come back into our family. After about 6 months he slipped back into addiction and started to get physically violent. Following a restraining order, I was given full custody of Hope. Currently, we are living with a family member. Her daddy has visitation on Mondays and Tuesdays while I am working. Other than that I am a full-time mommy and daddy. We are surviving and finding happiness again.
Life has been amazing with Hope by my side, but it has also been hard to parent alone. I have struggled, and I have cried a lot. When I look at any obstacle in life, I know I can tackle it as long as Hope is by my side.
I couldn’t see a worth without her. She’s my pride and joy.
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If you or anyone you know is suffering through substance abuse and wants help, call the SAMHSA’s National Helpline – 1-800-662-HELP (4357) ( National Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration)
]]>I was 18 years old when I had my first miscarriage and shortly after my loss, I was told that I most likely wouldn’t be able to have children.
It crushed me hard to hear those words especially at only 18 years old. I had my whole life head of me. Thinking I might have to go through life without something that I had always wanted my whole life was a hard pill to swallow.
Three years later I got pregnant with my first (full term pregnancy) baby, my son, and I was so excited but so scared that something was going to go wrong. Thankfully, he was healthy and perfect in every way.
Two years later I found out I was pregnant again. My family was going through some horrible times and unfortunately, I had another miscarriage. I had not told anyone because in my mind, I didn’t want to add my "problems" to them with all they had going on. I am not going to lie, it was very hard.
Storms don't last forever. I am the mom of two beautiful rainbow babes. My son and my daughter who is 1.5 years old. I feel like God put me on this earth to be a mom. Especially to be THEIR mama. There is literally nothing else that I would rather be doing than watching my babes grow and learn. I feel like I thrive when I am with me kids.
If you are struggling to get pregnant, don't loose hope. If you are battling anything alone, speak up to a friend. That is the best advice I can give you based on my experience in motherhood. Your village will be there for you in the good and the bad and it will make you a better mama when that time comes. Don't give up.
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My journey to become a mother has been an amazing trial, but by far the biggest blessing life has given me. After 6 months of trying to conceive, I looked down to see a positive on the pregnancy test. At 5:30 in the morning, I thought my eyes were playing tricks on me, but no matter how many times I looked away and looked back, the double lines were staring back at me.
My pregnancy was rough. At around 6 weeks, I didn’t get morning sickness, but instead all day sickness. Until 26 weeks, I barely kept water down. I lost 60 pounds during my pregnancy, and don’t think I could eat another saltine cracker if you paid me. I was finishing up college, and then started a job that would push my mental state to its limits.
I had an incredibly healthy pregnancy, and the baby looked good every time we went in for a checkup. At 13 weeks, we found out we were having a little girl. I found out before my husband and surprised him. He cried with happiness. At 37 weeks, I went in for a checkup and had extremely high blood pressure. My doctor wanted me to come back 2 days later after running some tests. On Wednesday, May 15th, I walked into my OB’s office at 3:15, only to be told 30 minutes later I needed to go to the hospital so they could do further testing. They had hooked me up to the fetal monitor, and Rosie’s heartbeat kept disappearing.
I was lucky enough for my OB to be on call that night, so after an hour of fetal monitoring, I was told I needed to have an emergency cesarean. While on the operating table, I had a panic attack. A c-section was everything I wasn’t planning on for my birth. I was planning on a completely natural, no interventions delivery. In all honesty, I felt like a failure because I wasn’t able to deliver my baby naturally.
When Rosie was born, we found out she had 2 true knots in her umbilical cord that were cutting off her oxygen supply. Due to that, she had developed an arrhythmia. I will never forget the moment my doctor told me “Had we not delivered her when we did, she wouldn’t have made it.” I still cry every time I think about the fact that there was only a matter of hours between delivering my baby, and losing her.
Breastfeeding was a whole new challenge on its own. My body didn’t want to produce, so we began supplementing on the first night. Despite every effort made to breastfeed, we ended up stopping after 2.5 months. I tried pumping, using all of the lactation cookies/smoothies/etc, feeding as much as possible...but no matter what I did, I continued to have to supplement. My mental health had declined severely because I wanted so desperately to feed my baby, but didn’t understand why my body had failed me.
Within 3 days of stopping breastfeeding, the postpartum depression hit like a ton of bricks. I had suffered with anxiety my whole life, but not so much the depression. Even now, at 6 months postpartum, I’m still trying to figure out the right course of action for me. I’ve tried different medicines, but so far nothing has been successful.
Being a mom is by far the most difficult, yet most rewarding thing I have done. There is nothing like seeing your baby smile at you when all you want to do is cry. There is nothing like sleepy cuddles, baby babble or knowing that you are your child’s whole world. Motherhood has been such an incredible journey. It has been difficult, but oh man has it been worth it. I would do it a million times over.
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To follow Erika Click Here for her Instagram
]]>Mental Health is a priority. It’s nothing to be ashamed of, and instead should be pursued daily. It’s also our responsibility to be purposeful about checking on those around us. Make mental health a daily task whether it’s working on yourself or actively being there for others...
We have teamed up with a group of amazing mamas in our community to bring awareness on #worldsmentalhealthday and we are in full force creating open conversations. The main mission of ours is to alleviate the pain by listening and being present for those who need us most...
Every 40 seconds someone loses their life to suicide resulting in almost 800,000 lives lost annually.
Maternal mental health disorders including postpartum depression are the #1 complication of childbirth.
1 in 5 women will suffer from a maternal mental health disorder and 1 in 7 will experience depression during pregnancy.
This doesn’t stop with Mom, dads also experience their mental health challenges which can affect the entire family.
There’s a ripple effect. Suicide and suicide attempt to impact families and spread to friends, colleagues, communities, and societies.
Much can be done to prevent suicide on individual, community and national levels.
Today, we are joining forces from every #Enough shirt purchased, we will be donating $1 dollar to the Blue Dot Project. You can click here to read more about this amazing project and how the stand for maternal mental health survivor-ship, support and solidarity. For direct donations, you can visit their site here.
Here are a few mamas who have spoken out and are fighting against stigmas and overcoming...
"I have suffered from anxiety.
I have suffered from depression.
I have suffered from anger/rage.
I have attempted suicide.
I have been admitted.
I have taken medication.
I have been to therapy.
I have pretended like none of it is real.
But I am not a failure.
I am not weak.
I am not broken.
I am human.
And being a human is full of twists and hard things and times where you can’t do it alone.
Being human comes with physical health and mental health.
Both are equally important to take care of you.
Your life matters. You are important and your mental health is real. Help is not a sign of weakness, but a giant sign of strength.
Please don’t suffer in silence.
You don’t have to do this alone.
You are enough."Meg Boggs (@meg.boggs)
"If only I could have seen that I have always been enough and I will always be enough. •
On the day I almost died delivering my babies, I brought 3 lives into this world. I am enough. •
On the day I chose to stop breastfeeding, I chose to feed my babies. I am enough. •
I felt helpless all those months my babies suffered with gerd, but I did everything I could to help them. I am enough. •
On the day I was diagnosed with PPD and anxiety, I made a choice to change, to be healthy for my family, to be a better me. I am enough. •
My body is different now. I brought life into this world and that is so beautiful. I am enough. •
My daughter almost drowned last summer, but she survived because I saved her. I am enough. •
It is very easy to twist our perspective as a Mother and see all our faults, but Mama, change what you see because I guarentee you are enough!"Desiree Fortin (@theperfectmom)
"I learned how to feel present. I saw value in myself. I believed I was loved and learned to love myself again. I decided I was needed, not just by those around me, but I needed myself too."
Elsie Calo (@elsiecalo)
"But every day, I remind myself of all I have overcome. I remind myself that mental health is just as important as physical health. I remind myself that I’m a better mom and a better human being when I’m on medication. And I remind myself that I may not be perfect, but I am enough."Bethanie Garcia (@thegarciadiaries)
"Society will remind you that stigma is alive and there are still plenty of people and systems who will only see your diagnosis OR pretend a diagnosis doesn't exist. Either way, it's not your truth to hold onto. It's their. They don't get to decide who you are. You are good. You are light. You are ENOUGH"Katie M. Crenshaw (@katiemcrenshaw)
I didn’t seek help until 4 months postpartum Pj and 3 years pp Emaline, mostly because of stubbornness and feeling like I can handle it all. But also - mental health can be really confusing when you have really good days mixed in there, like I do.
This is for the girl who’s always felt lost and out of place or like she can’t keep up. For the woman who’s drowning from anxiety and depression. For the postpartum mama who keeps having suicidal ideation but is ignoring it... For anyone having any of those thoughts.
I see you. I hear you. I am you.Ashley Dorough (@ashley_dorough)
I just wanted to take a minute to remind you that everything that you do is enough and everything that you are is enough.
As a persons who’s has had PTSD since the 6th grade and anxiety worse than ever in her 20s it’s hard to not look at other people and say i just want to be normal. It’s not even about wanting to be normal, it’s about the thought that i think I’m not normal.
So here’s to not being ashamed, here’s to embracing the crazy bitch I am because i can’t “function” how I’m “supposed to”, here’s to all the badass people who deal with these struggles every fucking day in all forms and still wake up and get out of bed and push themselves to overcome this shit.Steph Brown (@themomfluence)
"I am ENOUGH. I am enough woman, mother, wife, daughter, sister, friend, creative, coworker...I have all I need... At times I felt lonely, but I knew I was never alone. "
Zo'e Ymajen Cole (@aloha.zo.creates)
There was a season where life just felt heavy. No matter what brought me a smile or how my family supported me, there was always this thickness in the air and nothing felt clear. I felt lost and from experiences constantly questioned why God would bless me with so much when I couldn’t see myself as deserving. It’s been a journey building up a confidence in myself again, but I can finally see clearly and life doesn’t feel as messy. It’s possible to find joy again, you just have to have someone pick you up and help you fight for it."
Kinsey Dulaney (@kinseydulaney)
"In that scary moment, I decided to face those demons straight on, and use them to make me stronger. Since starting this journey to finding a happier me, I’ve come to realize something so important... My best is enough. A fraction of progress is enough. The fact that I wake up every single day, and choose to fight through the negative thoughts is enough. I am enough for my family, and they need me here."
Tori McCain (@tori.mccain)
"I always say that even though motherhood is one of the biggest communities out there it can also be one of the loneliest."
Kimberly Matamoros (@lipstickandbaby)
"Everyday I have to set limits for myself because I’m scared how I will react to the situation. Even more so now that I’m the main parent during the day. Which has always been hard for me. When I’m in the thick of it, all I can ask myself is “what’s wrong with me”. It’s time to let you know.
I am enough.
You are enough.
We are enough.
Your journey through mental health won’t be easy and you’re not alone."Heydy Lopez (@heydylopez)
"It took me saying something out loud and admitting that I was suffering to start to feel even the smallest bit better. I'm still working on it everyday, but I am consciously trying to make changes in my life that lessen my anxiety."
Erin Bogle (@biggirlyyc)
You see a smile, but do you truly know me? What I am facing on the inside? One being my anxiety. I have battled with it since I could remember. And after becoming a mother it intensified durning postpartum. I felt like I was on edge all the time(especially in those first 6months!) My thoughts were not my own. I cried so much feeling like the normal version of me was somewhere, but All the irrational parts of me would win.
And then there was Depression. Which I never tossed around the term because I didn’t feel like I ever truly experienced it... until I was pregnant with my 4th child. I never knew I could feel so low. Alone. Isolated to this very part of my being that made me feel empty. It was the scariest thing I’d ever felt. And I never thought I’d come through it.
It took me so long to find ways to work through my emotions. What triggered them. And how I could keep myself from fully returning to those parts of me. And everyday I’m still learning.Faith Beck (@lifeforeverchanged)
Como una persona que ha tenido grandes desafios en mis sueños de tener una familia, grabar mi música, ser mi propia jefa, la vida muchas veces pareció ser injusta. Huracanes, violencia emocional, divorcio, perdida de mi padre y retornar a mi isla para criar sola a mi hija mientras comenzaba a reconstruir todo al mismo tiempo, eso lo cambió todo. .Todos esos cambios me hicieron reciliente, si... pero en realidad fué muy doloroso. Lentamente comenzé a amar mi rostro, mi cuerpo, mi mente, como yo pensaba y mis emociones. TODAS mis emociones. Supe como era vivir en ansiedad y sufrir ataques de pánicos y el no sentir que mi vida era normal. .Asi que esto va a no estar avergonzada, esto va para l@s que enfrentan cambios, se paran sobre el temor y se sobreponen a todas las injusticias mientras se agarran de toda esperanza para un mejor HOY y un futuro increíble. ¡Hoy soy suficiente! ♡ Today, I am enough!
Mirelys Mohenz (@mohenzmusic @sophiesdollslove)
My anxiety has manifested itself in many ways in my life. Being that it's generalized well all it takes is the perfect storm for those anxiety loop plates to go a spinning. When I operate in fear I begin to manifest all the ways I fall short. From the person I am to my every last tiny imperfection. The thing is the amount of compassion I have for others when they are struggling and doing their best is usually 💯 fold more than what I give myself. Everyone has their way of managing their mental health. My family has a history of being EXTREMELY sensitive to medication. Medication works well for many! Seek help from those you love and trust. If you have no system seek a medical professional. Being human is hard. Raising humans is even harder.
Christina Joan (@hellochristinajoan)
Would you believe that this is the face of someone who has been diagnosed with mild/ severe depression, anxiety?
Would you believe that this face takes medication everyday just to function as a normal member of society and be the best mom she can be?Would you believe that this face didn’t think she was good enough to be loved since no matter how much she loved she was always left broken hearted?
Would you believe this face didn’t think she was “enough” because of society’s crazy expectations of mom?
Would you believe that this is now the face of a proud mom who gets told daily that she is loved, that she is the best by the very people she didn’t think she was good “enough” for?Well would you?
I’m here to tell you that You are enough. I am enough. We are more than enough. Nobody is perfect and no one can do everything. You just have to do you best, try daily and do what you believe is best for your family and yourself.Tyisha Roberts (@boy_mom_life2)
At age 12, I told my parents I didn’t want to live. I was bullied when we arrived in the US for not speaking English. It was not until age 20 that I learned I was suffering from PTSD secondary to my life experiences. Exposed to such stress from being a young adult, figuring out life and navigating relationships caused me to go on meds at an early age. This is something I closed myself off about for years, never feeling comfortable to share.
After our first loss, I experienced some symptoms but not as much as I would after becoming a mother for the first time. I went through postpartum depression (PPD) within 2 weeks of having our first baby and again 7 months after my second child. I reverted back to those feelings of shame, closing myself off to what I was experiencing.
Last year, it all crumbled and I couldn’t handle any more stress. I made the step to seek help. I opened up to my husband about my feelings, emotions and suicidal thoughts. It felt raw, scary and vulnerable, but with his support and that of my family/friends, I overcame. I decided to speak up. I decided to acknowledge my feelings. I decided to learn to cope in a healthy manner. I learned how to feel present. I saw value in myself. I believed I was loved and learned to love myself again. I decided I was needed, not just by those around me, but I needed myself too. After seeing a post by Meg Boggs, I decided to come forward and finally open up to the world. Not just hide behind encouraging others in my brand.
That’s how this #confidentlyenough campaign came about. I spoke to a group of ladies that make a difference in my life and this community. We came together and joined forces to bring awareness on #worldmentalhealthday
From every #Enough shirt purchased, we will be donating $1 dollar to the Blue Dot Project. You click here to read more about this amazing project and how the stand for maternal mental health survivor-ship, support and solidarity. For direct donations, you can visit their site here.
.......
Pockets. Snappis. AIO. Wet bags. Inserts. If you're sitting there thinking "what in the world is she talking about?” Don’t worry, because you're not alone. LOL, I was there too.
Those are just a small part of the terms used for cloth diapering. The world of cloth can seem big and scary with all the different types of diaper styles, brands, securing the right wash routine, and worrying about the best fit. Don’t worry because I’m here to help!
First things first, let’s figure out if cloth diapering is right for you! Do you want to save money in the long run? Do you want to reduce your carbon footprint? Is using reusable products important to you? Do you not mind having to deal rinsing/ scraping poop into the toilet? If you answered yes to any of these questions then you are ready to dive into the wonderful world of cloth diapering! If you answered no the cloth may not be the best match for you now but, I’m sure I can try and convince you otherwise.
Let’s talk about the different types of cloth diapers:
Pockets: These are the most cost-effective diapers; they require an insert to be stuffed inside to absorb pee.
AIO/AI2: These are the more expensive diapers; they come with the soaker sewn in and additional snap-in absorbency soakers; are more beginner-friendly as they did require any additional steps to use
The next diapers I’m going to mention are 2 part sets, a cover and the absorbency part.
Diaper covers:
-Pul/TPU covers- These are the only waterproof ones out of the 3; come in tons of solids and prints, can have cotton or monkey outer; must be worn over an insert as they have no middle.
– Fleece covers- These aren’t waterproof but are water repellent because they push all the liquid back into the absorbency insert; must be replaced after they are soiled.
– Wool covers- These are required to be lanolized to be waterproof; they are worn over an insert.
The diaper covers wouldn’t be completed without absorbency!
Inserts:
– Prefolds- are usually trifold pieces of cotton that are held together with either snaps or diaper pins; they require a diaper cover to go over them; this is one of the most cost-effective.
– Flats- are a piece of cotton or bamboo that is usually folded and held together with snaps or diaper pins; they require a diaper cover to go over them; this is one of the most cost-effective.
– Fitteds- are an absorbency diaper that is worn with a cover on top of it.
– Flour Sack Towels- can be found at any superstore and are the cheapest option for absorbency; they require a diaper cover.
– Microfiber/Charcoal/Hemp/Bamboo- are a type of insert that is stuffed inside of the pocket diaper.
These are all based on my own personal experience and knowledge. I will definitely be doing another blog post on cloth diapers, it will be much more detailed.
Amazon Prime is a life-saver for me. I found amazing deals for dad and guess what? With Amazon Prime, you can get them before the weekend and look like you were prepared all along.
Here are my top 10 Amazon Gifts for Dad.
1. Amazon Essentials Men's Slim-Fit Short-Sleeve Linen Shirt
2. True Wireless Earbuds Bluetooth 5.0 Headphones
3. Polarspex Polarized 80's Retro Classic Trendy Stylish Sunglasses for Men
4. "To My Greatest Dad" Custom Engraved Wooden Watch
6. Sunnybag ICONIC Solar Backpack
8. Travelambo Front Pocket Minimalist Leather Slim Wallet
9. Victrola Vintage 3-Speed Bluetooth Turntable
10. Arccos Caddie Smart Sensors
Hopefully this list has made you look like a hero and eased the pain of finding that specially daddy something amazing and easy on the budget (wink-wink) because we all love that!
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Basics:
These include a pair of jeans, basic tops, dresses and leggings. I personally always start my shopping at Old Navy. I love their clothing and it's within my budget. Plus they have good deals, especially for card holders. So when I needed a pair of maternity jeans, that is the first place I went. I personally love a skinny cut jean in a darker wash so that's what I went for. I love these jeans that I grabbed from Old Navy, they're really comfortable and come in various colors. Of course, Old Navy isn't the only store you can shop so here's some from Target, Amazon, and Gap.
Once I had a good pair of jeans that fit me, I went on to grab some basic tops. I also went to Old Navy for these. They have great tee shirts in both V-neck and crew neck cuts. I like both cuts so I picked up a few of each. I kept the colors neutral to pair with some other items. I got white, black, and grey tops. Here are some options from Target, Amazon, and Gap.
Something that I also love and feel every pregnant woman needs, a good, comfy dress. During a sale, I grabbed some $8 dresses from Old Navy in neutral colors and prints to mix it up a bit. I'm due at the end of July, so as the weather warms up, I just want to be able to throw on a dress and be on my way. Here are some options from Target, Amazon and Gap.
Another staple item for any pregnant woman, leggings. Enough said.
Extras:
Once you have some good basics, you can start adding some other pieces to your maternity wardrobe.
Blazer:
I think a blazer is always a necessity. You can pair it with a pair of jeans and a tee shirt to dress up your look. I love wearing a basic outfit of jeans and a tee shirt and throwing on a blazer with some comfy sneakers to really take my outfit to the next level.
Prints
I always like starting a wardrobe with basics and solid colors. Once I have those set, I begin to add some prints. I suggest starting with easy prints like stripes or polka dots. Depending on the season, you can add in some florals for Spring and Summer.
Weather appropriate clothing:
Depending on the season you're in while pregnant, you might need to grab a sweater or two. If you live up north, like me, you'll need 2-3 long sleeve sweaters so help keep you warm. You might even need to purchase a new coat depending on how big you get at winter time. I personally did have to purchase a new coat then I only got to wear it a couple of times because of the change of weather. But such as life!
Keeping to these basic rules, you'll be set to start a great maternity wardrobe! Hope this helps!
xo,
m
Hey girl! My name is Fiorella but most people call me Fi. I'm a wife and mama to three beautiful little gals.
Through Confident Motherhood, I hope to be able to express my real, raw motherhood journey and take you along some changes in my lifestyle that are helping me focus on a better me.
In this blog, I will share about my healthy lifestyle. My motherhood journey is coming soon. I look forward to the day that I can open up and openly share all of that with you.
I used to think that being a great mom was basically being at my kids' beck and call; Whatever they needed, I provided. I was lost. I had lost myself in motherhood and everything that comes with it. I was obsessed with having my house looking like it belonged in the cover of Better Homes Magazine; Nothing was out of place, laundry was always done, and dishes were always washed. It was exhausting to be perfect, but that’s how I valued myself- On things that I did right.
What was wrong? Me. The way I was thinking. Including forgetting to keep myself in good health. Not only physically, but emotionally, mind and spirit.
I decided that enough was enough a while back and I never looked back. Not only for how I valued myself as a mother, but in my healthy lifestyle. I wasn’t healthy (AT ALL.) But- here came transformation and with transformation, POWER!
The word diet is no longer in my vocabulary. I believe that, even though donuts are good and pizza is heaven, food is meant to fuel my body. However, you can live a healthy lifestyle and still enjoy the occasional cheats before cause YOLO and moderation is key.
So, what changed? My mind. My actions. I believed in ME.
I no longer believe myself as selfish for craving time to myself. I am a firm believer that the more I pour into myself, the more I can pour into others.
Confidence is a muscle I have to grow every day. It’s ok to have bad days however, I will not let those bad days ruin me.
I no longer run away from my anxiety but embrace it because someone out there is struggling and needs to be reminded that things will be ok.
I am not a victim of my circumstances, I am a fearless and faithful warrior. I am strong and I will fight the heck out of this life.
I believe in being surrounded by positivity and gratitude. Free yourself of all the negativity that only brings you down.
I believe that I CAN and I WILL build a business rooted in purpose. I don’t have to have a six pack or a perfect story. I don’t have to be perfect. I just have to be me.
I am in control of my actions, my life, and my destiny.
I am worthy of greatness because I was placed on this earth by Him.
Talk Soon,
Fi
To follow Fiorella on Instagram CLICK HERE!
Though you might not yet be old enough to understand how important December 13, 2018, was for our family, it will be a day we always celebrate. We will celebrate because your life is of infinite worth to our family, our community and our friends.
For 1,104 days I prayed that Jesus would divinely intervene in your life. I prayed that He would keep you safe, that He would instill in you your worth and value. I prayed that His will would be done for your life…and I’ll admit that prayer became harder and harder as my motherly love for you grew.
I had to learn to love you with open hands, not gripping too tightly in the event that Jesus would ask me to let you go. The days that I didn’t know if you would stay or leave were some of the darkest and hardest days I’ve ever walked through. But, I would walk through them again, and again for the rest of time for you my son. Today, we get to look at God’s grace and we get to call you son. On December 13th, we got to walk into the courtroom with peace because we knew the Author and Perfecter had chosen us to be your parents.
I hope that as you grow, you will see that there are no mistakes in your story. I hope you understand that you are deeply loved and that your story is beautiful. I hope you can see how many others have come to know and see a tangible picture of the gospel because of your life. That you are immeasurably valuable to the God of this Universe.
I hope that when you question your story and your journey, you will know that I am on your side. I hope you know that I am your biggest fan and that I will always help you search for answers. I hope you know that I am in love with every piece of who you are. I hope that if life tells you don’t fit in…you know it’s because you were born to stand out. I hope you boldly stare life in the face and know that you are the son of a King who has conquered all. I know you will be a world changer, a go-getter.
You’ve already accomplished so much in just four short years, my son, and I know you will accomplish so much more. You are compassionate. You are kind and caring. You are a leader, not a follower. An inventor and a dreamer. So be a round peg in a square hole my son. The world won’t be able to ignore you because you will change things. You’ll inspire and move others to action. You’re future is so full of promising my son, and I’m so glad God was gracious enough in choosing me to cheer you on the entire way!
xoxo,
Mom
Katie is a mother and foster care mama who advocates and has a strong voice in the foster care community.
To follow her journey, click here!
Ser mama de dos, Emma 2 y Elias 1, y cuidarlos en casa es una aventura de nunca acabara. Esto ha hecho que saque de mi una creatividad que no sabía que tenía.
Llego un momento donde me estaba frustrando y ellos también de estar todo el día en la casa y hacer siempre lo mismo. Comencé a apoyarme en otras madres que se quedan en casa con sus hijos y algo que vi en común de todas era la organización, no es que yo no sea organizada porque me considero bastante pero era más en el sentido de anotar en una agenda y planificarme, que es lo quería trabajar con ellos y no llegar de la nada a inventarme. Les digo esto pero todavía estoy trabajando eso conmigo porque si no es algo que estas acostumbrada toma tiempo hacer esta rutina, pero una vez la tienes tu creatividad vuela.
Una vez tengas en tu agenda lo que quieres trabajar con tu niño o niños puedes entonces comenzar a buscar los materiales para trabajar lo que deseas.
Dollar Tree para mi es una tienda esencial en las actividades de mis niños, allí encuentro gran parte de lo que necesito. Y realmente visitando la tienda surgen ideas que ni se diga. El comenzar a ver materiales ayuda mucho en la hora de la planificación.
Si necesitas ayuda a la hora de planificarte busca en Pinterest, Facebook, Instagram o cualquier plataforma social que puede ayudarte. Hay muchas madres que siempre dan ideas extraordinarias. Gracias a todas esas madres porque han sido de mucha influencia.
Aquí les muestro algunas de las cositas que he realizado con mis niños.
2019 Dream Planner, Weekly & Monthly Planner, White Marble, Horizontal Layout, with Tabs, 7x9
The summer prior to my senior year of college I spent a few months abroad in Zambia. I went alone, and met up with established missionaries serving there. I had this overwhelming desire to love and serve on kids living in orphanages.
It was in Zambia that I knew this trip was going to drastically change my life. I envisioned myself living overseas and doing life in an African village. After we wedded we sought-out opportunities to do international missions together, however, nothing seemed to align the desires we were both passionate about, and we encountered close door after closed door.
We’d been married for a hot three months when I dropped the “Hey, let’s be foster parents” bomb on my husband. We both laughed at the thought of becoming parents so soon after being married. We laughed about it until we couldn’t anymore. When the laughter had worn off, we realized that there were families in our community hurting. Kids going through the trauma that needed adults to care for them. We began to put names to the numbers and statistics with the facts, and we realized this wasn’t a “maybe someday we will foster” or a “once we have kids of our own we will foster” kind of thing. We realized that the kids in foster care didn’t have the luxury of waiting, so why should we?
Three months later, we found ourselves sitting at a lunch table in the church cafeteria for an informational foster parent meeting. Six months later Uncle Sam knew my life inside and out, including every exit door in our small apartment. Foster care wasn’t our plan B. It wasn’t a backup plan. It was THE plan. We didn’t know what we'd be getting ourselves into or what foster care would actually look like played out in our lives. We just knew that it was an open door we were being swiftly ushered through.
Prior to completion of our license, we had to decipher ourselves as a foster only home or a foster home that was willing to adopt. Adoption hadn’t even been something that was on my radar. I didn’t grow up thinking or feeling that I would adopt. But when we stared at the little checkbox on our form, the black ink of our pen happily danced an X across the ‘willing to adopt box’. Though we had chosen to be an adoptive home, we also understood that the goal of foster care was and always is reunification
After we were a fully licensed foster home oddly enough, we waited 8 months before receiving our first phone call for a placement. We still aren’t sure why that first phone call took so long. Hindsight, we can boldly claim that it took so long because we were in fact, waiting on our son. In the midst of the waiting, we both gained and lost a baby through miscarriage. Had our first pregnancy brought forth life on earth I would've been due nearly at the same time we got the call for our son. Though we were deeply saddened and dismayed by the loss we watched our Maker turn those ashes to beauty. That no meant a different yes.
On December 4, 2015, our loss had been met by joy. Life had again begun to grow inside of my womb and we were so anxious to meet our sweet baby. At 23 weeks pregnant on that December 4th morning the phone finally rang. “Hello, this is the Department of Children Services (DCS), Ms. Rivera?”
I glanced down at my ever-growing bump. Dumbfounded I thought to myself, really? Now?
“Yes, this is she,” I uttered.
The cold, matter of fact voice on the other end of the phone replied, “We have a 12-month-old male here at the office. His name is Gabriel. He is, overall, in good health. Would you be willing to accept him as a placement?”
I paused on the other end of the line. Waiting for additional information to be given. When I realized that was the extent of the information that we would be receiving I replied back with, “Let me call my husband at work and speak with him and we will get back to you.”
I called Brance at work. We had never before parented a child. We had no idea that our "yes" would ensure sleepless nights and more tantrums than diaper changes. Our hearts just knew that there was a 12-month-old baby boy sitting in an unfamiliar, DCS office. We knew his world had just been flipped upside down. We didn’t know his story, but we knew he needed someone to love him and to keep him safe. We knew his name, and he wasn’t just a statistic or a number anymore. If we were a no, then where would his next yes come from? If not now, when? We both took a deep breath and agreed upon a yes. If I’m being honest, it was the most confusing yes I’ve ever given. It was a yes that gave birth (literally) to excitement, pain, joy, brokenness, redemption, and restoration. It was a yes that has refined me in more ways than I could have imagined.
On that December 4th afternoon we met our son. He was wearing a black and red stripped T-Shirt with a weary and worn grin. At the time, we didn’t know he would spend the next 1,104 days with us in foster care prior to calling him our son. We didn’t know that our sleepless nights would really be from watching him sleep, praying safety and abundance over his life. We didn’t know that every court date and visit would leave us all emotionally exhausted. We didn’t know that our "yes" would be one of life’s greatest joys.
For the next 1,104 days, we walked the unknowns of foster care. We went through three social workers, three Guardian Ad Litem's, three judges and hundreds of home visit/appointments. We stumbled our way through caring for two kids under two as first-time parents. We learned about trauma-informed care. We learned how to be still when needed and how to righteously advocate for justice.
Our journey hasn’t been perfect. In fact, it’s been a lot of painful refining and dying to our flesh. It has required us to build a long table and not a higher fence. It has shown us grace upon grace. Our yes brought us our son. Our yes unfolded the gospel in our living room. So we will continue to again wait and we will continue to say yes.
Maybe you’ve considered a yes. Maybe you’re afraid of what that yes will bring. I’d challenge you to confront that yes...because it might be the best yes you’ll ever come to know. Joy is waiting on the other side.
Katie is a mother and foster care mama who advocates and has a strong voice in the foster care community.
To follow her journey, click here!
Hola mi nombres es Mailyn, Cristiana, esposa y madre. En instagram me puedes conseguir como @likemamma un blog lleno de algunas experiencias como madres y creaciones y creadora de @kreativmammafl donde encontraran #kreativtee con mensajes inspiracionales y versículos bíblicos.
Mi tiempo como madre ha sido uno lleno de muchas aventuras y mas cuando estamos lejos de nuestra familia. El estar lejos de nuestros familiares en este tiempo que comenzamos a ser padres nos ha hecho ser mas apegados el uno del otro, lo cual me encanta. Mi primera niña Emma, la que hace que mis emociones sean como una montaña rusa. La que me enseñó a ser madre, a creer mas en mi y en mis capacidades como madre, que aunque no soy perfecta sabia que Dios me había diseñado para ser madre.
Al momento de enterarme de mi segundo embarazo estábamos envueltos entre viajes y organizar el plan medico que mi primer sonograma recuerdo que fue a mis 14 semanas. Ese día mi esposo no pudo acompañarme y fui con una amiga y estábamos muy contentas de ver al bebe. Al terminar el sonograma recuerdo que me enviaron con el doctor lo cual se me hizo muy raro y sentí que esos fueron los minutos mas largos de mi vida, porque sentía que algo no estaba bien. Cuando llego el OBG recuerdo que sus palabras fueron no tengo buenas noticias el bebe viene deforme y con un liquido alrededor de su cuerpo. El mundo se te quiere caer, ninguna palabra daba aliento en ese momento, no sabia ni que decirle a mi esposo porque no recordaba nada. Llore, me cuestioné y reaccioné, sí, reaccioné porque por un momento se me habia ido esa madre segura y confiada. Yo misma me dije el poder de Dios se perfecciona en medio de mi debilidad y tome fuerzas y seguí mi #confidentmotherhood.
Fueron 39 semanas llenas de muchos retos pero nunca perdí mi confianza. Mientras los doctores veían un niño con muchos problemas yo veía a Dios obrar. Finalmente nace Elías lleno de vida y salud. Ya tiene su primer año y ahora las montaña rusa que le había comentado anteriormente son mas fuertes, hahahaha.
Muchas veces nos tenemos que repetir a nosotras mismas ten confianza, ten confianza, ten confianza para poder entender que Dios nos ha dado la capacidad de ser madres. Para mi #confidentmotherhood no es ser perfectas sino creer mas en nosotras misma y saber que estamos diseñadas para esto.
Qué bueno poder compartir y aprender, con ustedes madres, esta travesía.
Con cariño
Mailyn
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Beautiful mamas, I hope you find a space of encouragement, grace, and renewed spirit here.
The month of January is the official month of National slavery and human trafficking prevention. Modern slavery is an issue that is close to my heart. I would love to devote this entire article to the facts of modern slavery; please, if you have any time at all, educate yourself on the issue. It is more pressing and prevalent than you may know.
Although it would delight me to devote this space to trafficking education, I cannot ignore the broader issue pressing on my heart: Incorporating service and world-change into the “little years” of Motherhood.
Motherhood in the “little years” - raising infants, toddler, and young children - is tiring, as you well know. It can be extremely taxing; physically, mentally, and emotionally. It is hard, if not exhausting, to envision the details needed to give more of yourself and of your precious time in this season. However, it is possible to make a difference beyond your family walls in these little years, and it is so rewarding. Children are immensely impacted by the behaviors and causes of their mothers; though they are still small, your dedication to world-change is seen and soaked in by those little eyes. Participation in service has the power to improve your own life as well. There are several scientific studies reporting a strong link between happiness and serving others. If you have ever volunteered your time or resources, it is likely that you know this first-hand. I strongly believe that the quickest fix for a less-than-cheerful heart is to involve yourself in the pursuit of service.
Once upon a time, in my pre-babies life, I loved to physically involve myself in work for the charities that I held dear. Now the term “extra time” is laughable. In the time that I do have, it is just not practical, or even possible most times, to hire a babysitter or leave my husband at home with the kids while I serve like I once did. Raising babies is absolutely important work, arguably the MOST important work, but if your heart longs for more as mine does, I’d like to offer some practical ways to make your world-changing energies count.
USE WHAT YOU ALREADY HAVE
There are always local organizations that have physical needs: toiletries, supplies, clothing, toys, etc. If you’ve been watching Marie Kondo like the rest of the world, give those things that don’t “spark your joy” to an organization that supports what you are passionate about. All you have to do is load up your car and drive it over. Some organizations may even offer pick-up. Give them a call!
DO WHAT YOU’RE ALREADY DOING
Involve others, and give it a greater purpose. If you are a runner, invite your community to do a run with you; ask them to provide a donation to a cause you’re passionate about. If you love brewing your own coffee or having playdates, host a coffee morning in which you collect donations or supplies. I am a photographer, and I’m still working on the details, but I’m planning to offer children’s portrait sessions for a donation to local fostering needs. One of my favorite and recently discovered examples of this is Freedom Dinners. A mama named Kelly Welk (@kellywelk on Instagram) uses her love for cooking and hosting to host beautifully crafted dinners in order to fundraise for trafficking prevention. Her efforts started small, a few friends in her kitchen, and have grown immensely. You can find info on her fair trade shop and how to host your own freedom dinner at ciderpresslane.com.
INVOLVE YOUR BABES
As a mama of little ones, your babes are likely with you a LOT. Use that. Make crafts with their handprints and their scribbles to send to deployed soldiers, or to the elderly. Better yet, physically take those little rays of sunshine to a care-home for the elderly! Maybe pick up trash with them at the playground. Their little souls are fertile and eager for growth in service and selflessness. My two year old daughter loves to draw pictures and pick out stickers for our Compassion child (compassion.com). Not only is it a great experience for her in service, it is an opportunity for her to experience a different culture and to expose her to the reality of poverty.
BE OKAY WITH SMALL FOR NOW.
You may not be able to change the whole world during this season of motherhood. But you certainly can change someone’s world. You don’t need to launch a non-profit to make a difference. You just need to start. Right now, right where you are, with what you have right in front of you. If you’re not sure where to start, consider these questions that Welk poses in her article for Cider Press Lane, Can You REALLY Make a Difference?:
Is there a specific ‘problem that really gets you fired up? This does not have to be a big global issue. What about helping kids read, helping the elderly, local food banks, shelters, foster care…
Is there a specific way that you could help? This isn’t just about giving money! What skills do you have that you could ‘gift’ them, volunteer, give your expertise… cooking, cleaning, bookkeeping, counseling, organizing… you name it, I guarantee they NEED your help!
Is there a fun way that you could do a personal fundraiser? It’s time to think outside the box. Gather your friends and community and give people a new way to be involved. You could host Freedom Dinner like Cider Press Lane, or sell extra dahlia tubers like Willow & Mable Garden Co., or organize a movie night, or wine club, book club… Basically ANYTHING you love to do can be leveraged to bring people together and help others.
You are powerful in this season, it may just call for a bit of extra creativity. You can absolutely serve in the midst of these little years. You go, confident mama, change the world with what you’ve got.
Keep up with Kayla HERE!
Kayla is a mom of two beautiful babes, a photographer and amazing encourager. Keep up with her adventures over on Instagram!
I never wanted kids of my own. I grew up in a dysfunctional family pieced together by my grandmother. My parents were fresh out of high school when they had me. They had no idea how to parent but how could they? They were kids themselves. My mother's substance abuse got the best of her and at seven years old, my half-brother and I ended up in foster care. Luckily, my dad got his act together by then and rescued me.
My dad may have gained full custody of me, but, it was my grandma who did most of the work. She ensured I was loved and cared for as it should've been from the beginning. Growing up, my dad would refer to my grandma as my "mom" and deep down it felt true.
As I got older, I made a decision that I wouldn’t have any children of my own. I read books about adoption and told my family how one day after I graduated college, had an amazing job and a house of my own, I would adopt a little girl. Then, my life would be complete. Why would I ever bring another child into the world when there were so many out there that needed a loving home?
And then I met him. I was twenty-two, he had a pool and liked to party. What was supposed to be a summer fling, changed my life forever. Things fell apart quickly after I got pregnant. I realized that I was dating an alcoholic and an abusive one at that. I felt scared and trapped. They say pregnancy is supposed to be the most wonderful time of your life, but for me it was hell. I kept telling myself things would get better, he made empty promises that they would, but nothing did.
The day my daughter was born and I looked into her beautiful blue eyes, I fell in love in a way I didn’t know was possible. She was mine and I was hers. I didn’t understand how my own mother could give up a love so deep. Marley was here and I was going to do everything in my power to protect her, love her, nurture her, and help her become a better person than I was.
Things didn’t get better at home like her father promised they would. If anything, they got worse. All my naive ideas of how I wanted to raise my daughter went out-the-window as our life turned into survival mode. I stuck around for two and a half more years. It wasn’t until my Women’s Studies class had a lecture on abusive relationships that I really realized I was in one.
I made a plan with my friends, packed a bag, and took the biggest leap of my life. We got out and we were safe. I was going to start my life over with my daughter and never look back. The court decided otherwise: he got joint custody. It’s a blow that I’m still navigating.
Flash forward two years and we were thriving as best we could. I had my own studio apartment and a stable job. Marley and I had our routine down. I felt like we could go on, just the two of us, forever and life would be great.
But then- I met him. He was unlike any man I had ever dated before. He was so nice it was off-putting at first. He slowly got me to let my guard down and then I fell hard. We had our daughter two years later and all of a sudden I got to be the mom I always wanted to be. There was never any push back when I made a decision. Ray trusted me to parent and followed along: from cloth diapering to raising our daughter vegetarian, he was along for the ride.
Becoming a mother made me take a deep look at the life choices I was making and to put someone else first for a change. I might not have been ready to become a mom at twenty-three and it definitely was not the picture perfect moment I had always imagined, but you can’t live your life with what if's. My first born came to me the moment I needed her the most. She helped me get my act together. In more ways than one, she SAVED my life. I felt lost when I first became a mom, but I have finally found my confidence.
To keep up with Cynthia, follow her HERE!
My motherhood journey is one that I was never prepared for or at least not how it all evolved.
I was a little girl who hoped and prayed and dreamed about the day that I would become a mom and a wife. I wanted everything to go the way I fantasized about with no exceptions. When I found someone who made me feel the way I wanted, I took at the chance.
At 20 years old I met my now ex-husband. He said all the right words and it made me feel that I was in love. It was a short courtship, getting married three weeks after meeting and getting pregnant within three months with our first son.
When we found out I was pregnant, I couldn't believe it. I remember crying. We were living at my mom's house, I was working, and going to school and this made me feel like the timing was not right. It was during this time in my life that reality became clear of who I had married. I was busting my butt working, juggling school and taking care of my (ex) husband and his daughter. He wasn't interested in working, or taking on responsibilities, and was always out with his friends.
One day while in class my teacher said: "Just because you’re afraid to do something, it doesn’t mean you shouldn't do it if it is the right thing to do." That same day I went home, and I told him it was over. I packed my suitcases and left. It had only been a month since finding out we were pregnant with Greyson. I stayed away until about 37 weeks pregnant when we tried to make it work again. At this time, I sincerely walked away when he missed the birth of his son. I had decided to move with my life for good.
After Greyson was born, I went through postpartum depression. But that was not all.
Between the birth of my first son (Greyson) and our rainbow baby (Colton), I had suffered 4 consecutive losses with my husband. The first pregnancy being twins. The loss of my twins was the hardest I've had to face in my entire life. I remember feeling that something was wrong and going to the ER. The moment they showed us that monitor screen, I knew that my babies were gone. Once again, I was experiencing postpartum depression. Only this time it felt that I couldn't grieve as I wanted because I had to stay strong for Greyson. My son is the real reason why I am alive today.
In April 2016, I was going back to school and starting a new job when I found out that I was expecting. I carried the pregnancy to about seven weeks and six days when I started bleeding and we sadly lost that baby. In June of 2016, we were pregnant again but lost that baby at about six weeks. Immediately after that we were pregnant again but lost the baby without even making it to 5 weeks.
I was losing hope. My body was failing me and I didn't think I would ever be able to carry a baby again. The amount of pain and hurt that I felt every time, changed the way I was as a woman, and as a person completely. This made me weary when I was finally pregnant with my son Colton.
After losing so many pregnancies, I didn't want to have any real attachment to my pregnancy with Colton. I was afraid that something would happen to him and that I'd lose him the same way. I worked hard my entire pregnancy and put as much faith forward as I could. The day Colton was born, was the most amazing day.
My journey into motherhood has not been easy. I know that it is never going to be easy for me and guess what? I wouldn't trade any of it. The postpartum depression, my miscarriages, being a single mom at one point, all of it. It was a hurdle, but where I am now is where I've always wanted to be. I am a stay at home mom to both of my little boys. We have the most amazing man who loves us and takes care of us. And if I had not endured all I did, I wouldn't be who I am today or be present the way that I am.
Sometimes we have to suffer and go through the hardest of challenges in life to get to where we need to be. That has been my story. While so much pain was endured, our blessings have been far beyond what we could have expected and truly blessed.
Hello! My name is Megan Perez I am the founder of the blog "Simple Life", a lifestyle and faith-based blog.
As I’ve gotten older, I realized that life isn’t all about having the most expensive things or tons of materialistic items, especially since I’m expecting my first child. Life is about experiences and having the ability to enjoy those experiences with my family. My ultimate goal is to inspire your own personal growth in different areas of your life.
My first-time mom experiences right now are centering around my pregnancy. Something I am still having a hard time wrapping my head around. My husband and I were definitely planning on starting our family last summer, I just didn't think we expected it would happen this fast! We have taken notes for the future.
We were very blessed to be able to get pregnant after 1 month of being off of birth control and I know that this isn't always the case for everyone. I was on birth control for the past 3.5 years of our marriage. We always had a 3-year plan, so when we hit 3 years I definitely started to get the itch for children. Because of our life situation at that time, we decided to wait a little while before we actually started trying. But, we put everything in prayer and during the end of the summer in 2018, we decided that I would get off of birth control to start trying for a baby.
At first, I was honestly just happy to be off of birth control. I had gained about 30 pounds while I was on it and I was not happy with my body and the effects of birth control. And I was happy to give myself a break from the hormones before trying to have a baby. I had my doctor take out my IUD at the end of August 2018 and gave myself the month of September to detox myself of the added hormones. By October, I felt really good and we decided to start trying. That month, I was so on top of my body. I started taking my temp and logging it in my Period Tracker app daily. Doing that, really helped me to understand my body a little bit more and when I was ovulating, etc. That month I was really strict about when we had sex according to what my app was telling me (insert all the laughing emojis). That was so strange for my husband because he is definitely not used to me being that way. Haha. I ended up getting my period at the beginning of the month and was a little disheartened but kept trying anyway. I honestly just put it in God’s hands.
Fast forward to Thanksgiving. I was supposed to get my period that week and never got it. We went to visit my parents in Michigan for the week so I decided not to take any tests while I was there. On our way back home, we stopped to pick up a pregnancy test. We drove 10 hours home and as soon as we got home, I went straight to the bathroom to take a pregnancy test. It was the craziest 60 seconds of my life. Part of me knew that I was pregnant and the other part of me just figured I was late because of stress. But when that test showed a positive sign, I like lost my breath. I couldn’t believe it. It was the best feeling in the world. I immediately told my cousin because I was talking to her through this whole thing. Then when I went out to try and tell my husband he was in the bathroom. So, I had to wait another 5-10 minutes before I could tell him. I could barely contain myself! Once he got out, I just kind of blurted it out. I tried to record it but of course, I messed it up and it didn’t come out good. As soon as I told him, we just hugged each other and started crying. We couldn’t believe it and were so thrilled.
Fast forward to now and I’m 17 weeks pregnant. I still have a long way to go but I have enjoyed every minute of it. No matter how annoying the nausea was or that I could barely eat, the fact that I’m creating life within my body is mind-blowing to me. God is so cool in how He created our bodies.
I’m beyond excited to be able to share this journey with you all. If there is anything I can answer for you or any questions in regards to what I will be sharing here with you, please do not hesitate to ask!
Hi Mammas! I'm so glad you're here. To learn and to grow with us, to laugh when we want to cry. I'm Katie, a Midwest mamma of two. I made my husband promise we wouldn't end up in the Midwest (I don't do snow). Five years later, here we are in Iowa. My motherhood journey began a bit differently than most.
I was a foster mom before I was a biological mom. It felt like I shared the responsibility of motherhood with the state. They made decisions for my son but I cared for him. I couldn't sign on the parent line for him or make any of his medical decisions but I could hold that baby close and whisper to him how much I adored him. I could tell him that he was valuable and worthy. Three months after our son came to live with us I gave birth to our biological daughter, Andi Grace. I was struggling with all of the newness of being 'first time mom' yet I had both a 16 month old and a newborn. I was sleep deprived and anxious. Most days I cried and I wanted to give up. If I'm being authentic, I felt that the joy of motherhood had been stolen from me. I saw all of these social media feeds with moms looking so peaceful with a toddler in one hand and a newborn in the other. I couldn't understand why I too didn't look or feel that way. We joked that we had two kids in three months. We ushered in sleepless nights and postpartum depression. We shuffled between feedings, court dates, foster care visits and lots of diapers. It was a whirlwind. I'm thankful that there was abundant grace, laughter and a whole lot of coffee. Honestly, I'm thankful that there is still abundant grace, laughter and a whole lot of coffee.
I think I became a mother when I realized that no one could determine how extravagantly I would love my children; foster, adoptive or biological. I think I became a mother when I became fiercely protective over the lives that I had been entrusted to lead. I became a mother when I stopped believing the lies of what the world wanted me to believe of motherhood. I'm Katie. Wife, mamma, foster care advocate, photographer and a follower of Jesus. And a believer that together, we can live a #confidentmotherhood
]]>AUTHOR KATIE RIVERA FOR CONFIDENT MOTHERHOOD
I'll never forget the way her questions echoed fear in my new mamma heart, "But what about your biological baby? What if all of this is too stressful on your pregnancy? What if you can't give her the love, and attention that she needs because you have other children in your home? What if she gets hurt in the process?" I was about 25 weeks pregnant with our daughter and simultaneously chasing around our 12-month-old foster son. I was working full time as a nurse, and I'll admit- I was frazzled. I was weary, worn and full of doubt. The question began to stir fear in my heart. I began to listen to the lies - What if I cannot care for both of these kids? What if this is 'unfair' to my newborn biological child? What if stress and anxiety is too much?! March came, and our daughter was born. I remember that it was painfully hard. It was a daily surrender and a season of struggle. But guess what? We did it! And now, three years later both of my babies are THRIVING. My foster son is now adopted, and I forever get to call him my son. My daughter is spunky and fierce thanks to having a big brother.
Three years ago I didn't know how to respond to all of the questions. Three years ago I was a brand new mom full of doubts and fears. Fear of raising my babies wrong. Fear of not loving them enough. Doubt that I was the very best mom for my kids. Here's the thing. Jesus has grown me into a much more confident mamma. Sure, there are daily concerns that creep into my thoughts as we again go down the road of foster care (spoiler alert: we will probably do the crazy cycle of both a biological baby and a foster kiddo simultaneously). However, this time around this mamma can slap those questions and fears in the face with some confidence. Here's what I believe and I know to be true: Jesus has called me to this. He has not given me a Spirit of fear but of power and love. His perfect love casts out all fear. For whatever reason, Jesus chose me. My family, my husband and my kids to foster other kiddos. He didn't promise me a road of ease. But he did promise to wire me with an unshakable and fearless spirit. And if He called me to it, I know he will not leave me unequipped.
So, let me debunk those fears that this young mamma three years ago needed to hear. You can do this, and you aren't doing it wrong. Your motherhood journey not being conventional doesn't mean you're doing it wrong. Just because I have extra chaos, and kids in my home it doesn't mean anyone is getting left out. In fact, I'd beg to argue precisely the opposite; my kids are gifted with the ability to see the gospel thoroughly. That they learn to call out to a God that loves them infinitely more than my earthly, motherly love can carry them. That if I would have let fear, and doubt control my actions I wouldn't be looking my son in the face or my daughter, and her spunky personality. If you've been called to foster care, stand up firmly and confidently because you were created for this. You were made for the extra chaos. You were formulated with the capacity to love deeply. You were wired to share a love that's wide, never meant to be kept within the lines of a conventional family. You were created to balance the biological, adoptive and foster care world. So keep on keepin' on and tell those fears and doubts to take a backseat because they aren't true. Know that you can walk in confidence and a whole lot of grace for your unconventional motherhood journey.
Are you a foster care parent? Are you adopting or planning to adopt? We’d love to hear from you!
Click to visit Hello Sparrows for more blogs and connect with Katie Rivera.
]]>I cried a lot during my first pregnancy. Diaper commercials, wilted lettuce, pinks that were too bright, Starbucks getting my order wrong, and Chick-fil-a getting my order right were all things that just made me sob uncontrollably. During my second pregnancy, my tearful fits were much different. I cried tears of fear and guilt.
Is this the right time for another baby? Could I love another baby just as fiercely as my first? What was I taking away from my first-born by having another child? How could I possibly give two little humans adequate time and attention? These questions swirled through my mind throughout the entire nine months. From talking with other second-time moms, I understood that I wasn’t alone in my fears.
My second baby (a boy!), is now six months old and I can fully attest that the world did not end with his birth. So, if you’re pregnant with #2, take a deep breath and push those fears aside for 45 seconds until you have another mood swing.
Is this the right time?
Trust.In.God. Yes, there may be some lifestyle changes that you'll need to make (aside from the "giving up wine" thing). Yes, this may throw your family dynamic into a tailspin for a short period of time; But trust Him. You are the mama to both your babies for a reason. Make this your mantra. My husband and I had originally planned an embryo transfer for two months when we ended up getting pregnant with my son. We thought we had the "perfect time" planned for a multitude of reasons, but God knew best. I didn’t see it at the time but that little hiccough in our plans set off a chain of events that led us right where we needed to be.
Can you love another baby as fiercely as your first?
I promise you that as soon as you see that your second baby, hear that sweet little cry, and you feel those teeny tiny fingers wrap around your hand for the first time, this question will be non-existent. It will be a different love but a love that is just as fierce. Then when you see your first baby hold your second baby for the first time, the love you have for both of them will soar to a whole new level. Nothing will ever be the same again. Please have someone take a picture of the moment they meet. It is magical.
What am I taking away from my firstborn by having another child?
I’m not going to tell you that you aren’t taking things away from your firstborn when a second child arrives. Your firstborn will probably end up getting less “stuff” than what they are used to in the long run. The growth of my daughter’s hair bow collection has decreased drastically over the past year. Your firstborn’s activity schedule will probably dwindle a little. That is okay. Free play is very beneficial for your child's development, and it’s hard to give when your two-year old’s social schedule is more jam-packed than a Kardashian’s. Your firstborn will also have to wait an extra 5 minutes for you to cater to their whims. That is ok. Patience is a virtue hard to gain when you've never had to wait before. These things that you’re “taking away” from them don’t compare to the gift you are giving them by having another baby. You’re teaching them a new kind of love. You’re giving them another human who will always be in their corner.
How can I possibly give two little humans enough time and attention?
The hardest part of having two (or more!) children is dividing your attention between two kids. You can do it, but it’s easier if you can figure out ways to have the majority of the day be more about the family sharing one another’s attention rather than you “dividing” yours. Some days this is easy to do. On other day’s it requires all the neurons pregnancy brain left you with firing.
Here are my top 5 tips on creating an inclusive environment for both kids:
1. Wear your baby.
Baby-wearing is so beneficial, Y'all and I could write an entire blog going over studies that show the benefits of wearing your baby. However, in the interest of time, I'll share this: babywearing will allow you to have both hands free to wrangle your toddler do housework while still allowing your newborn to smell you, hear your heartbeat, and feel secure and loved. While your baby is growing, babywearing will allow your baby, to safely observe you and your toddler’s activities along with your daily routines. You don’t have to be an essential oil wielding, anti-vaxxing, tie-dye wearing, PETA-supporting cloud of patchouli mom to wear your baby (but if you are…more power to you!). Before deciding on a carrier, try to borrow a ring sling, a stretchy wrap, and a soft structured carrier and see which works best for you. My personal favorite is the Lillebaby Complete, which is a soft structured carrier.
2. Try to foster a supportive, loving relationship between your kids.
This may seem really silly, but watch how you word things in front of your children. One advice is to never “blame” the baby when you say no to your child. Maybe it’s true- that you aren’t going to take your toddler outside to play because your newborn is napping, however, don’t word it that way to them. Your toddler will quickly associate the baby with you saying “can’t” and could start to resent the baby. Also, encourage your children to celebrate each other’s successes, and commiserate when they fail. My daughter is in the final stages of potty training. To celebrate when she goes to the potty, I will have my son “clap” for her. He can’t verbalize that he’s proud of her, but he always has a drooly smile for her to celebrate. The same goes for when she has an accident. He gives her a “hug” to show her how loved she is even when she fails. My son is desperately attempting to crawl. So, I encourage my daughter to clap for him and cheer him on when he gets his little booty up in the air. She rubs his back and tells him its okay when he ultimately ends up red-faced and frustrated on his belly. Lastly, show your kids as much affection as possible in front of each other and talk in a loving way for their sibling to hear (even on days your toddler is driving you crazy). Kids will mirror your affection, reactions and how you speak. For example, I say “Hold on, Bubba. Mama’s on her way” while I’m walking down the hallways to pick up my son in the morning and then proceed with singing him a really silly “morning” song. Now my toddler takes great delight running in front of me down the hallway yelling “Ho on, bubby. Ainsie Grace is on da way!”, climbing in his crib, and singing him an even sillier version of our “morning” song.
3. Find ways to adapt activities up for your older child and down for your younger.
Once my son was over the super sleepy newborn phase, I tried to adjust all of my toddler’s activities to be on my son’s level. If she is doing art, I let him do “squish” painting or gnaw at a clear plastic container with crayons (carefully inspected). However, I soon realized doing this wasn’t sending the right message to my daughter and it was overstimulating my son. I’ve cut back on her pre-planned tot schooling activities and found ways to include her in activities geared more towards my son’s age. For example, she lays next to him under his play gym, and we count out loud the number of times he bats at a ball. Other times we organize his toys by color, or we search in his soft books for things that start with a certain letter.
4. Simplify your personal belongings.
I quickly realized that I needed to maximize every minute of every day once I had my second baby. I already wasn’t much of a sleeper and I expressed this concern to a friend. She recommended I do some reading on minimalism. I already felt like I was drowning in laundry and toys before my son arrived, but those feelings quickly intensified once he did arrive. I do laundry every day no matter how many changes of clothes each of us has but its easier for me to put the laundry away though when there are fewer articles of clothing for each person. It's easier for me to find my daughter’s favorite pajamas or put together a decent looking outfit for myself when we have fewer items. Purchasing items with intention make a huge difference. As for toys, I watched my son and daughter amuse themselves for 45 minutes today with 5 Dixie Cups. So, let that sink in. Your kids need toys but not nearly as many as you think they do. My daughter is much happier now with fewer toys and I more present than when she had every toddler toy Target carried and a mom who was always trying to clean.
5. Be forgiving to yourself.
You don’t need to plan out every second of your and your kids' lives in an overpriced planner that has been decorated with 12 different colors of washi tape. What you do need is a daily rhythm. You don’t need to make your kids a Pinterest-worthy breakfast every morning, but they do need something mildly nutritious. Give yourself the same grace you’d give a friend. Adding to your family is such a beautiful adventure, enjoy the ride and embrace the chaos, mama!
Are you a mom of two or more or are you expecting your second baby? We’d love to hear from you!
This blog is by Kara Schaefer. Follow her on instagram for more motherhood, lifestyle & more!
]]>I have always loved Valentine’s Day! My family always made it so special. I remember waking up to bouquets, balloons and chocolates from my dad as a child, and having new shoes delivered to my dorm room from my mom on my first Valentine’s Day away at college. An entire day devoted to finding special ways to fawn over our loved ones is just irresistible to me!
Today, I decided to put a Valentine’s Day spin on one of Sam and Lucy’s very favorite things — homemade play dough! Of course, making it pink was a must (to Lucy’s delight). But adding a strawberry fragrance is what really made them fall in love! They helped me mix the ingredients, and then played with the play dough, cutting out hearts, rolling, kneading, pressing, and smashing, for a full hour. I even let them eat some strawberries while they played.
That first time playing with a fresh hunk of homemade play dough is just the best. It’s still warm, so their little fingers stay toasty on a cold February day — and they’re very enamored with the unique texture and scent of each batch. I would give this recipe two big thumbs up, and so would my kids!
Instructions
Add food coloring (and strawberry extract if using) to water, and bring to a boil.
Mix the dry ingredients together in a bowl.
Add the vegetable oil and mix.
Pour the boiling water into the mixture, and knead into dough. I use my Kitchenaid mixer with the dough hook attachment on speed setting 2 for this step.
After the dough is formed, add the conditioner (and glitter if using) and continue to knead for about a minute until distributed.
Allow to cool slightly before playing.
Store in an airtight container
That's it. Now time to play, duh! (See what we did there?)
We hope you love this easy and fun activity! Let us know if you try it with your kids and tag us using #confidentkidscrafts
]]>Valentine’s Day is upon us. It’s time to roll up our sleeves, and get our love crafts on. By “our” I mean your kids. By “your kids”, I mean that they are the ones creating, and you are only there for set up and moral support. The craft we are bringing today, is Valentine Process Art! We have two lists, the Easy Way and the Level Up way. The easy way is for average everyday, you probably have many or most of these supplies. The level up way is if you wanna channel your inner Pinterest Goddess.
The Easy Way:
Coloring Utensils (Crayons, markers, paint sticks, water color)
Scissors
Glitter or Glitter Glue
Paper Hearts (check your local Dollar Tree)
Level Up Way:
Googlie Eyes (Any Art Store)
Jewels
Hologram Hearts (Target Bargain Bin)
Washi Tape
Heart Punch
Textured Scissors
Stamps + Ink Pad
Stickers
Scrapbook Card-stock
First you want to plan out who do you want to make a special valentine for. Realize that younger kids are probably only going to have the attention span for one heart. Some kids have the attention span for more than one. Feel it out. You can put the tray up, and bring it out again the next day to make another.
Now for the fun part. Give them a blank heart. Tell them they can decorate the heart ANY WAY they want. You will be squirming and wanting to make perfection. If that itch to intercede is TOO strong, make your own heart beside them. They really love when you interact, and play together. Sit back and have fun, because you aren’t there to control the outcome. This is their time to plan, spatial reason, process, play, and explore patterns and textures.
When we were doing this craft each kid had their own idea who they wanted to make it for. You can help them plan their heart by asking:
What is (the person they are making it for) favorite color?
Oh! It’s red?! What does the color “red” start with? R…Rh… rh… (sound out the first letter, and see if they can guess)
I see you love the google eyes, how many google eyes did you put on your heart?
Oh, I love the tape you used, what color is it? Is it smooth or rough (glitter is rough)?
Now keep in mind to not barrage them with questions. Kids will get frustrated because it might break their concentration on their creation. Find the balance. Just act as if you were having a normal conversation. Praise them for their choices and their creations. Will it be perfect? No. When the child has full control things will be messy, a little weird, and very interesting looking. Enjoy gleaning for their perspective.
Tag us in your Valentine Process Art. We want to see how they turned out! Let us know how your little enjoyed the freedom of making their own valentine.
You visit the baby stores for what you believe will be an easy task when all of the sudden- you are standing in the middle of the car seat zone aisle and you hear crickets. Or, you are possibly hearing a lot of the questions fluttering through your mind in what seems like 100 wpm:
What in the world? Why are there so many car seats? How do I know which car seat is for my baby, he or she isn’t even born? And so many other questions.
Am I right? Don’t all raise your hands at once. So, which direction do you go? Here are our 5 tips for choosing your perfect car seat. For your baby, I mean.
Photo by Sharon McCutcheon on Unsplash
If your baby is securely strapped in a car seat, his or her risk of dying in a car accident goes down by 71%, according to the CDC.
Tip #1: Make sure you are using the correct car seat for the appropriate age.
You will want to consider and take note of:
Your baby's age
Your baby's weight and height
Whether the car seat meets safety standards
Here's a quick guide from the CDC on how to choose a seat based on your child's age, weight, and height:
Birth to age 2. Use a rear-facing seat. Your child's weight should be no higher than allowed on the seat's weight limit.
Age 2 to 4 AND no more than 40 pounds. Use a forward-facing child safety seat.
Age 4 to 8 OR up to 4 feet 9 inches tall. Use a belt-positioning booster seat. Always keep kids in the back seat.
After age 8 AND/OR 4 feet 9 inches tall. Seat belts (without a booster seat) are OK. But your child should keep using a booster seat until adult seat belts fit properly. How can you know? Check the position of the lap belt and the shoulder belt on your child. The lap belt should be on the upper thighs -- not the stomach. The shoulder belt should be on the chest -- not the neck.
Tip #2: Quality
Think that for the first few years of life, your child will be sitting in this chair more often than we think. Car trips, weekends out and so on… you get the point.
We personally recommend a great quality car seat with enough cushion. The support around the head is always important to us in the event of an accident. So keep this in mind when looking at the quality of materials used, fabric, etc.
Tip #3: Safety label.
Make sure the seat has a label stating that it meets or exceeds Federal Motor Vehicle Safety Standard 213.
Tip #4: Five-point harness.
It will protect your baby better than a three-point harness or seatbelt.
Tip #5: Ratings.
This is one of our favorite things for almost any products. Ratings. Check the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration's (NHTSA) five-star ease of use ratings system. A seat that's earned four or five stars will have clear instructions and be easy to use.
Tip #6: Always keep in mind that you need a new car seat.
The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends buying a new car seat - unless you know the accident history of a used car seat.
Also, always check reviews and ratings by fellow moms and parents in general. They can be the best at giving you advice on what to purchase or not based on experience.
Check out this video on properly buckling your baby into the car seat.
We hope you feel a bit more secure on what to look for when you go back to the aisles at your local baby stores. Hopefully, a bit less overwhelming.
Below you can see some of our recommended car seat brands. Do you have any favorites? Tell us below.
BRITAX B-SAFE 35 INFANT CAR SEAT, RAVEN
SAFETY 1ST GROW AND GO 3-IN-1 CONVERTIBLE CAR SEAT, HARVEST MOON
GRACO TRANZITIONS 3-IN-1 HARNESS BOOSTER CAR SEAT, PROOF
Mommy-ing has you do all things except taking care of yourself! Literally leaves no time for you to get all cute and ready, so confidence isn’t always a part of that wardrobe & that should ALWAYS be a part of your wardrobe! I mean, this is Confident Motherhood. Right?!
This means so much to me because in a world of social media it’s easy to get caught up in all of it and doubt yourself when really you’re doing an amazing job in those leggings girl! This is a daily, comfy reminder & encouragement that everyone does things in their own way, at their own pace and no one can take that away from you!
Aside from being comfortable, I always look for pieces that are stylish and practical. A little positive reminder is a plus! This new crop hoodie gives me all sorts of life because it can be work in so many different ways and allows me to be comfortable. You can wear this with your favorite pair of mom jeans or you know those leggings you own 100 of the same pair of? Yeah (no shame here) Introduce this hoodie to your mom uniform whilst reading what it says OVER & over! That’ll give you a confidence boost for sure!
Stephany is a contributor in the Motherhood Panel at Confident Motherhood.
]]>- Pumpkins
-Paint (We use Watercolor Paint, easy to clean)
-Paint Brushes
For halloween we went to the pumpkin patch and got many diff pumpkin sizes, but the ones ones that lasted are the little ones! So for this craft you can use whatever size you'd like, just utilize those unused pumpkins and paint them fall colors! You can paint designs or just let your little freehand!
-Construction Paper -Marker
-Scissors
-Glue
Step 1) Cut long leafs out of the construction paper (I used red, green, yellow and orange)
Step 2) Cut out a turkey body shape (I just cut mine to resemble the number 8) with brown construction paper! You can also use a toilet paper roll (the Insert)
Step 3) Explain to your little one the meaning of being thankful while you write "I Am Thankful For" on the middle of the turkey
Step 4) Ask your little one what he/she is thankful for and write them on the leaves for him/her
Step 5) Help your little one glue the leaves to the back of the turkey with the things he/she is thankful for facing up and let dry
-Pick some leaves or buy artificial ones -Glue
-Crayons
-White construction paper
1) Help your little one draw the bodies of the butterflies in whatever colors he/she desires with your crayons
Step 2) Grab a leaf one by one and glue them as wings for your butterflies and let dry!
Hand Print Tree-
-Little ones arm and hand -Crayons
-Paint and paint brushes
-Construction paper
Step 1) Place your little ones arm and hand flat on your construction paper and trace his/her hand with a brown crayon to resemble the bark of a tree. Have your little one color in the "bark"
Step 2) Let your little ones paint fall colored leaves (Swooshes or dots) at the tip of the tree !
What kind of craft ideas do you have for you and your little one?! Comment below!
]]>Go ahead, PIN it!
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